Greater EMC Chamber Runs Out of Memberships—Panic Ensues!
April 1, 2025
In a shocking turn of events, the Greater EMC Chamber of Commerce has officially run out of memberships to sell, leaving local businesses in a state of utter disbelief. What was once an organization known for welcoming new members with open arms is now facing a crisis of unprecedented proportions—too much success.
"I knew we were growing fast, but I never expected this," said Mark Linabury, President & CEO of the Chamber, shaking his head in amazement. "We just kept adding members, and suddenly—bam!—we ran out. I've never seen anything like it."
Businesses hoping to join the Chamber are now being placed on a waiting list that stretches longer than the line for free samples at a barbecue festival. The Chamber's membership committee is reportedly exploring radical new solutions, including launching a "Manic" membership tier, instituting a membership lottery, or even building an expansion wing to accommodate the overflow.
Cheri Grebe, Vice President of Member Opportunities, was equally stunned. "I thought we were set for growth forever! Now, I’ve got business owners begging me for ‘just one more membership slot.’ Someone even offered me a year's supply of coffee to bump them up the waitlist!"
Tyler Jones, Director of Communications, expressed amusement at the situation. "I’ve been telling everyone about how fast we’re growing, but even I didn’t see this coming. We might have to start issuing golden tickets like Willy Wonka just to manage the demand!"
Tracie Kamenoff, Director of Events & Marketing, admitted the situation is unlike anything she’s ever seen. "We may have to start a support group for businesses suffering from Chamber membership FOMO."
Mark A., Member Data Manager & Videographer, offered a silver lining. "Look, this just proves how incredible our Chamber is. But don’t worry—we’re working on a plan. We might have to start a 'Chamber Bootcamp' for aspiring members or introduce a reality-TV-style competition for the last available spot."
In the meantime, local businesses are scrambling to form alliances and sponsorships, hoping to get their foot in the door through creative loopholes. Some are even considering starting a Greater Greater EMC Chamber—a move that has raised more than a few eyebrows.
For now, the Chamber is urging patience and reminding everyone that today is, in fact, April 1st. "Oh, did we mention?" Linabury added with a grin. "April Fool’s!"
Crisis averted—at least for now. Get Your Memberships Here!
